Create Moments | The Field Guide

Nobody ever changed because of a lecture. They changed because of a moment. An experience. A spark that lit something inside them. Your job isn’t to teach. It’s to create moments where learning happens on its own.

In 1878, a minister named Milton Wright brought home a toy for his sons – a small helicopter, powered by a rubber band. It flew across the room. His sons Wilbur and Orville were mesmerized. They played with it until it broke. Then they tried to build their own. Twenty-five years later, they built the first airplane. Milton Wright didn’t lecture about aerodynamics. He created a moment. He brought wonder into the house and let curiosity do the rest.

Soichiro Honda grew up in rural Japan in the 1910s. Cars were nonexistent in his village. One day, his father heard that a car would pass through a nearby town. He walked young Soichiro miles to see it. They waited for hours. When the car finally came, Soichiro was transfixed. He ran after it, scooped up oil dripping from the engine, and smelled it. That single moment ignited a lifelong obsession. Honda went on to build one of the largest automotive companies in the world. His father didn’t teach him engineering. He walked him to wonder.

Richard Feynman’s father sold uniforms in Brooklyn. He wasn’t a scientist. But he taught his son to think like one. Their method was simple: walks in the woods. Melville Feynman would point at a bird and ask, “Why do you think it pecks at its feathers?” Richard would guess. His father would ask follow-up questions. They’d observe. They’d hypothesize. They’d wonder together. No lectures. No textbooks. Just questions. Richard Feynman won the Nobel Prize in Physics. He credited his father’s walks for teaching him how to think.

The pattern

These parents didn’t deliver information. They designed experiences.

A toy helicopter, not a lecture on flight
A walk to see a car, not an explanation of engines
Questions in the woods, not answers in a classroom

Your job isn’t to teach. It’s to create moments where learning happens.

The approach

Pick 3-5 activities per year. Don’t overwhelm. Choose skills that match their age and your principles.
Design the moment. How can you make this experiential? What can they touch, try, fail at, and try again?
Ask questions, not answers. “What do you think would happen if…?” beats “Here’s how this works.”
Slice thinly, release now. Don’t wait for the perfect teaching moment. Small exposures compound. Let them see you do it before they try it themselves.

The hydroponic lesson

Here’s something strange about plants. In hydroponic farms – where plants grow in water, not soil – the plants often develop weak stems. They collapse under their own weight. Why? No wind. In nature, wind pushes against plants. The stress forces them to grow stronger stems, deeper roots. Without resistance, they grow fast but fragile. Hydroponic farmers solved this by adding artificial wind. Fans blow on the plants, stressing them deliberately. The resistance makes them strong.

Your job isn’t to remove struggle from your child’s life. It’s to design the right struggles. Don’t carry their backpack. Let them fall and get up. Let them fail the test and figure out why. Let them be bored and invent their own games. The wind is the point.

Carol Dweck’s research on Mindset confirms this. Children who believe their abilities can grow through effort – a “growth mindset” – outperform those who believe talent is fixed. But here’s what’s missed: growth mindset isn’t taught through praise. It’s taught through struggle. When you let them fail, try again, and eventually succeed, you’re not just teaching a skill. You’re teaching them that effort works.

The Montessori rule

Maria Montessori built her entire educational philosophy around one idea: Never do for a child what they can do for themselves. It’s harder than it sounds. It’s faster to tie their shoes. It’s easier to answer for them. It’s less messy to do it yourself. But every time you do something for them that they could do, you rob them of progress. And progress – remember – is the source of happiness. Help less. Watch more. Let them struggle, then succeed.