Chapter 1
The Problem
We have more parenting resources than any generation in history, and yet most parents feel less prepared than their grandparents did. Why? Because we’ve confused information with intention.
In 1718, Josiah Franklin had a problem. He had seventeen children and no parenting books, no podcasts, no experts telling him what to do. So he watched. He observed each child’s nature – their curiosities, their strengths, their stubborn streaks – then placed each one in an apprenticeship matched to who they were. His son Benjamin was curious about everything, argued constantly, and loved to write. Josiah apprenticed him to a printer, and the rest is history. Josiah didn’t have a system, but he had intention. He studied his children, identified what mattered, and designed experiences around it.
A century later, Nancy Edison faced a different challenge. Her seven-year-old son Thomas came home from school with a note from his teacher. “Your son is addled,” it said. “We cannot teach him.” Most parents would have panicked, but Nancy pulled him out of school and taught him herself. She didn’t try to fix what the school saw as broken – she leaned into his relentless curiosity, let him experiment, let him fail, let him try again. Thomas Edison went on to hold 1,093 patents. When asked about his mother, he said: “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.” Nancy didn’t follow a curriculum. She followed her son.
Here’s the strange part: We have more resources than Josiah Franklin and Nancy Edison combined. Parenting books fill entire sections of bookstores. Experts share advice on every platform. Apps promise to track every milestone. Yet most parents feel less prepared, not more. Why? Because information isn’t the same as intention. Having access to everything means you can’t focus on anything. The checklist has 50 items, but if you try to teach all 50 without a filter, you’ll burn out before they turn ten. The problem isn’t lack of knowledge – it’s lack of a framework.
Clayton Christensen – the Harvard professor who wrote The Innovator’s Dilemma – spent his final years thinking about this. In How Will You Measure Your Life?, he argued that the same strategic thinking that builds great companies can build great families. But only if you’re intentional. Only if you decide what matters before life decides for you.