Reactive vs. Actionary Parenting
Day-by-day, you’re dodging bullets. Cleaning up messes. Putting out fires. Responding. Reacting.
This is learning by experience—valuable, but limited. If reactive parenting is all you do, important things fall through the cracks:
- Kids who never handle money won’t know what to do when they get some
- Kids who never meet dogs grow up timid around them
- Skills like tying shoes get postponed until it’s embarrassing
Reactive parenting only capitalizes on situations kids put themselves in. The deeper principles never get taught.
The research is clear
Study after study shows the same thing: progress is the source of happiness and success.
Not achievement. Not arrival. Progress.
When you can see yourself moving forward, you feel fulfilled. When you’re stuck, you feel lost. This is true for adults. It’s true for kids.
Be actionary instead
Instead of only reacting, be actionary. Work backwards from what you want your children to learn:
- Define the principles and skills that matter to you
- Design experiences to teach them
- Make progress and celebrate milestones
This makes parenting more purposeful—and easier. You have a plan. You can see it working.
The shift from reactive to actionary parenting isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about being intentional with what’s already there.
Not sure where to start? Here are 50 things to teach your kids — a concrete list you can work from today.