What Your Kid Should Know How to Do Before High School

High school isn’t harder because the classes are harder. It’s harder because nobody manages you anymore.

In elementary school, one teacher tracks everything. In middle school, there’s still a safety net — reminders, hand-holding, parent portals that let you monitor every assignment. In high school, that net disappears.

The schedule is theirs. The deadlines are theirs. The social landscape is theirs. The consequences are theirs.

And the kids who thrive in that environment aren’t the ones with the highest test scores from 8th grade. They’re the ones who’ve been practicing self-management for years.

If your kid is heading to high school — or even two years away from it — this is the readiness checklist. Not what they should know academically. What they should be able to do as a functioning person.

Self-management skills

Wake up and get out the door without you

By 14, your kid should own their morning. Alarm, getting ready, breakfast, packed bag, out the door. Not with your reminders. Not with your backup alarm. Not with you standing in the hallway saying “you’re going to be late” every three minutes.

If your kid can’t get themselves up and out the door by 14, the problem isn’t laziness. It’s that someone has been managing the process for them. Hand it over. Let them be late a few times. The school’s consequence is a better teacher than your nagging.

Track their own assignments and deadlines

No parent portal checking. No “did you do your homework?” at dinner. They manage their own work, their own deadlines, and their own results.

This means they’ll forget things. They’ll miss deadlines. They’ll get bad grades on assignments they didn’t do. That’s the practice. A kid who’s never experienced a zero from their own disorganization will experience it in high school — where it costs more.

Manage a multi-day project without supervision

High school projects span weeks. If your kid has never managed something that takes more than one sitting — without you checking progress, without you reminding them about the due date — they’re going to learn project management through failure. Which works, but it’s painful.

Start now: give them a home project that takes a week. Cleaning out the garage. Planning a meal for the family. Organizing something that matters. Set a deadline. Don’t check in. See what happens.

Social skills

Have a conversation with an adult who isn’t you

Your kid needs to be able to talk to teachers, coaches, store clerks, doctors, and other adults in complete sentences without you translating, advocating, or standing next to them.

By 14, they should be able to:

• Ask a teacher for help or clarification on an assignment
• Make a phone call to schedule or cancel something
• Order at a restaurant without pointing at the menu
• Introduce themselves to a new adult

These aren’t personality traits. They’re skills that require practice. If your kid can’t do them, start this week. Not with a lecture about confidence — with a task: “You’re calling to make the appointment.”

Navigate a disagreement without an adult mediator

High school friendships are complicated. Drama happens. Feelings get hurt. Groups shift.

A kid who runs to a parent or teacher every time something social goes wrong is going to struggle. Not because the adults won’t help — they will — but because the kid will never develop the ability to handle social friction on their own.

By 14, your kid should be able to say “I didn’t like what you said” to a friend. They should be able to sit with awkwardness. They should be able to decide for themselves whether a friendship is worth keeping.

If they can’t, let the sibling fights run their course. Coach from the sidelines instead of mediating. Ask “what are you going to do about it?” instead of offering to fix it.

Life skills

Cook at least three real meals

Not microwave meals. Not cereal. Three actual meals they can make from scratch without supervision: planning ingredients, cooking, and cleaning up after.

By 14, a kid should be able to feed themselves if nobody else is home. That sounds low-bar, but a surprising number of high schoolers can’t. Because someone always made the food.

Do their own laundry

Start to finish. Sorting, washing, drying, folding, putting away. Not because you asked them to. Because they need clean clothes and that’s how you get them.

This is one of the simplest skill handoffs and one of the most powerful. A kid who does their own laundry at 14 carries that into college, roommate situations, and adult life without a second thought. A kid who’s never done it arrives at college and calls home.

Handle money with consequences

Not an allowance they can blow without impact. Real money management: a fixed amount for specific needs (lunch, activities, clothes), with the understanding that when it’s gone, it’s gone.

A 14-year-old who has managed a budget — who has wasted money and felt the sting of having nothing left — understands money. A 14-year-old who’s never been allowed to run out doesn’t.

Independence skills

Be home alone for a full day

By 14, your kid should be able to manage themselves for 8+ hours. Get up, feed themselves, do what needs doing, handle any minor issue that comes up, and not default to screens for the entire time.

This isn’t about safety. Most 14-year-olds are physically safe at home. It’s about whether they can manage their own time and attention without someone structuring it for them.

If they can’t do 8 hours, start with 4. Build up. The first solo day is always the hardest — for you, not them.

Get somewhere independently

Walk, bike, bus, or (in some areas) drive themselves to a location that isn’t home or school. Navigate there. Get home.

Geographic independence sounds minor. It’s not. A kid who can only go where a parent takes them is a kid who depends on someone else for access to the world. By 14, they should have a radius of independence — places they can go under their own power.

Handle a problem without calling you first

Something goes wrong. They locked themselves out. They spilled something. They’re at a friend’s house and need to get home. The power goes out.

By 14, their first instinct shouldn’t be to call you. It should be to assess the situation, think through options, and try something. They can call you after they’ve tried — not before.

This only develops if you’ve been letting them handle problems for years. A kid who’s been rescued from every minor issue will call you at the first sign of anything unexpected. Because that’s what they’ve been trained to do.

The readiness test

Here’s a simple way to see where your kid stands. Next Saturday, don’t manage anything. Don’t wake them up. Don’t remind them about anything. Don’t make their food. Don’t solve any problems.

Watch what happens.

A kid who’s ready for high school will have a slightly bumpy Saturday but will manage. They’ll get up eventually, feed themselves, find something to do, and handle whatever comes up.

A kid who isn’t ready will flounder. They’ll sleep until noon, eat cereal, stare at a screen, and ask you when lunch is.

Neither result is a verdict. Both are information. The Saturday test shows you exactly which skills need practice before September.

The window

If your kid is 12 or 13, you have the perfect window. Two years of low-stakes practice before the stakes go up. Every skill on this list can be built in that time — if you start handing things over now instead of waiting until they’re “ready.”

They get ready by practicing. Not by waiting.

If your kid is already 14 and behind on most of this list — that’s okay too. Better to start now than at 18. The skills build faster than you think when you actually let go.

Pick one skill from this list. Hand it over this week. Don’t take it back when they do it badly. That’s how every capable person in the world got capable — through imperfect practice that nobody rescued them from.

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High school readiness is part of 50 skills every kid needs. Forging Gumption gives you the full framework — or start mapping your progress for free.